Well the last week or so has been a bit of a rollercoaster. The nervous euphoria of my exhibition preview last weekend followed by a somewhat deflated feeling the next day was easy to put behind me as I have so much work to complete before my next exhibition. But then I had two rejections during the week. The piece rejected by Quilt Visions (23 Kilns, above) was one I made using more of a 'monoprint' style of breakdown printing that I really, really want to explore further over the next year or two. I thought it was good, I love the graphic nature of it so rejection was a bit worrying. Until I saw that they had only selected 43 pieces out of 343 entrants. I didn't feel so bad.

The other rejection was from the European Quilt Triennial. Second time I've entered and second time I've been rejected. The piece is called the Cost of Coal (detail below) and is a companion piece to a large quilt that has got lots of positive comments from visitors to mine and Helen Conway's exhibition. But, being quite pale, it is difficult to photograph which makes me wonder whether this and any further pieces I make in the Traces series will be difficult to get accepted into exhibitions. Which has shaken my self-confidence as I was planning to take this series further. Should I keep going? Have I backed myself into an artistic corner? Should I just make more Ruins pieces which have been a very successful series for me?

It is very, very tempting to wallow in self-pity and self-doubt and reach for the gin but that isn't really an option when I need to work at a steady pace for the exhibition in Stockport at the end of May. In fact it isn't really an option I would let myself take at any time. It has been a while since I mentioned Steven Pressfield in a post but this week I felt the need to pick up my dog eared copies of his book's 'The War of Art' and 'Do The Work' again. Yes they are a bit 'preachy' and maybe too full on 'American' for many but his approach is part of my studio / art practice. He talks about the resistance - all those things which get in the way of us making the art we want to make. Rejection letters are part of the resistance. As are acceptance letters. They both elicit emotions which distract us. Pressfield talks about turning pro and about treating art as if it were your paid job. To paraphrase - show up every day, show up no matter what, stay on the job all day, be committed to the long haul, understand that the stakes are high and real, accept remuneration for our labour, don't over identify with our job, master the techniques of our job, have a sense of humour about our jobs and accept both praise and criticism as part of our jobs. Of course very few of us can make art full time. I commit to 20 hours a week in my studio. I get there by going into my studio virtually every day even if it is 30 minutes squeezed between my other commitments. I turn up when I feel ill (full of a cold as I type!). I turn up when the sun shines. I turn up when it is dark and wet and cold. I am 100% committed. This matters to me. I don't let rejection paralyse me (it is a specific piece of art that gets rejected not me as an artist). I just keep doing the work.

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It is a weird feeling the day after a preview. My exhibiting partner, Helen Conway, and I put so much hard work into making the artwork, designing the gallery layout and marketing the event that the run up felt like riding a wave. Certainly I was so twitchy that I couldn't settle to anything in the last few days before the preview. The next day I felt like a bedraggled bit of seaweed left on the shore. That could have been caused by the white wine drunk after the event but more likely it was that deflated feeling you get after something big has happened. Like Boxing Day.

It might have been nice to take time out, read a book, have a nap, remind my family who I am but with the prospect of a second exhibition in just over two months that was never going to happen. So it is straight back into the studio. The next exhibition previews on Saturday 26th May at Stockport War Memorial Art Gallery. The space is much bigger than the St Helens gallery but Helen and I are consummate art professionals (or mad fools!!) and are absolutely certain that we will have all the new work ready in time. 

And who needs sleep? 

It has been that time of year again when I join 12 other textile artists (and good friends) for a 5 day retreat at Rydal Hall in Ambleside. No husband. No kids. No cooking or cleaning. No sitting in traffic. No work. New CD's in the car for the drive up. A new piece of work to stitch. Books to share. A short period in which to focus on making whilst eating well and laughing often.  

It snowed on the first night. The view from my bedroom window was truly spectacular. At breakfast I looked through the window at pristine snow on stone steps. Afterwards I opened the front door long enough to be grateful that I didn't have to go any further.   

I retreated to the work room to stitch. And stitch. And stitch. 

Cozy and warm. Grateful for what I have but more aware than ever that not everyone lives in wonderland.

Three weeks to go until my exhibition with Helen Conway at The World of Glass in St Helens and another first for me - prints. In an effort to make my art more affordable I'm going to be selling limited edition prints of two of my new works (Sherdley Road and Ruins 8) along with limited edition prints of two detail shots. The prints are A3 and I'm really happy with the quality of the image (you can see all the stitching and fine detail) and the lovely heavy paper they are printed on. I'll be making them, along with postcards, available on my website from the 17th March when the exhibition opens. After much deliberation I have priced the prints at £55 each. Postcards will be £1 each. Time will tell if this is one of my better ideas!

I have had a good life.  Fortunate to have enjoyed the benefit of a first class education without crippling student debt. Fortunate to have brought our first house when my husband and I were just out of university. Fortunate to have been able to buy a larger house as our three kids got bigger. Fortunate that our house is big enough that our oldest son and grandson can live with us and still feel like they have their own space; their own lives.

Which is just as well as our son, a single parent on a low income, cannot afford the £750 per month he would need to rent a small 2 bed terraced house in Salford. And he is not alone. The charity Shelter estimates that 150 families become homeless every day in Britain. 150. A day. In what is still one of the richest countries in the world. I hope I won't offend anyone when I say that we should be ashamed of ourselves.

Homeless doesn't just affect those who struggle with mental health issues or those with substance abuse problems. It isn't a lifestyle choice. It can affect anyone. The break-up of a relationship, a landlord selling up, redundancy, spiralling debt when wages don't keep up with inflation. It doesn't take much and the problem is getting worse. The charity estimates that there are 128,000 children in the UK today who are homeless.

I have a good life. I have the time, money and space to make art. That is why I will be giving 15% of sale proceeds from my upcoming exhibition at The World of Glass in St Helens to Shelter. And, for the duration of the exhibition (17th March to 4th May 2018) I will also donate 15% of any sales from my website to the charity.

In aid of Shelter: Registered charity number 263710

I'm slowly working down my pre-exhibition to do list and am now the proud owner of postcards and display stands. I ordered my postcards from Moo. I have used them for business cards and love the quality of their products. This time around I was disappointed with some of the postcards - the images of my very pale 'Traces' pieces came out dark and dull. Not to worry though. The kind people at Moo have given me lessons on using the right colour profile (CMYK) and are going to reprint them. Great customer service! 

Well maybe that is a little bit dramatic but it is now only 44 days until my exhibition with Helen Conway opens at The World of Glass in St Helens. And only 37 days until we drop off the art work. Today Helen and I met with the curator Hannah to discuss layout and the minutia of things we need to do between now and then.

Getting the layout of the exhibition finalised is really important. Hannah and her team will hang the work and we wanted to be sure that we have the right number of pieces to fill this beautiful space. Turns out we can include an extra 4 metres of wall without crowding the space. Good job I made more pieces than I thought I needed. It does however mean that I will need to correct the scaled 3D model I have made!

So my to do list for the next 37 days:

• Send out the remaining Preview Invites.
• Finish final quilt (the original piece was finished in December but I liked it so much that I submitted it to the European Quilt Triennial. So now I am making a replacement. A 135cm x 240cm replacement. Good job I work in series!).
• Cut, drill and label top and bottom battens for three large quilts.
• Make storage bags for each large quilt.
• Iron, de-lint and carefully roll three large quilts in tissue paper before storing in their bags.
• Add hanging mechanism and mirror plates to 20 small pieces stretched over canvas.
• Wrap these 20 pieces in bubble wrap, find a box to store them in and print out a hanging plan for them.
• Decide whether 6 medium sized pieces currently stretched over canvas would actually look better framed (OK so maybe I should of thought of this earlier!)
• Add hanging mechanism and mirror plates to said 6 pieces.
• Wrap them in bubble wrap and print out a hanging plan for them.
• Collect 8 framed pieces from Manchester Custom Framing.
• These will come with hanging mechanisms and will be carefully wrapped so will just need a hanging plan printing.
• Make labels for everything. Sounds simple, takes forever to get them perfect.
• Get postcards printed ready for sale in the gallery.
• Decide whether to have limited edition prints for sale and get them printed.
• Get poster printed onto foam board for entrance to gallery (Helen is organising the design).
• Organise something for visitors to leave their details and comments on.
• Sort out drinks and nibbles for the preview with Helen.
• Decide what I will wear (this is the item that stresses me out most!).

Easy!

In my last post I shared the breakdown printing technique I use to put colour and texture onto my cloth. This series of work is inspired by industrial structures that once littered our landscape but now rarely exist outside of memories and museums. Their impact on the landscape has faded; has been built over. So for my cloth, having put down a layer of colour, I now strip most of that colour back off. Here is how.

Using a steam iron I crumple and crease my fabric. I am trying to create an uneven surface that acts as a resist to the discharge solution. I use Formosol dissolved in warm water and apply with a 'dry' brush. I don't want to flood the cloth. I leave the cloth to dry overnight then use a steam iron to activate the Formosol and remove colour. This bit is rather noxious. Ideally you should use a gas mask but I find ironing near an open door with a stiff breeze is effective. I use the iron as a tool, selectively applying heat so that I get different levels of discharge. The 'black' dye I used to print the cloth is actually a blend of a blue-black dye and a dark brown dye. When I discharge the colour strips away to leave a yellowish brown that rather looks like a nicotine stain. 

Once I'm happy with the level of discharge I wash my fabrics at 60C and they are ready to use. Or not. Sometimes I over-do the discharge process and end up with a piece of fabric that is too pale. Sometimes the colour discharges to more of a red brown. In both cases I resist the temptation to throw them in the bin. Instead I add another layer of breakdown printing and another layer of discharge. 

Some people get nervous about sharing their process / techniques. I don't. Mostly because I use methods that do not give exact, reproducible results. Every screen I pull is different. Although years of experience do direct my work it is the serendipitous nature of breakdown printing that makes each piece of fabric unique. 

Over the last few weeks I have been printing fabrics for a series of work inspired by those industrial structures that no longer really exist - brick kilns, pit winding wheels for example. I have been printing in one colour - grey - but some of the fabrics have picked up traces of rust from some of the metal objects I use to make my screens. I start by adding a small amount of thickened dye to the back of a screen. I spread the dye using brushes, foam brushes or rollers but leave the coverage rather uneven. 

I then use my wonderful collection of 'things' to embed into the dye. I keep some screens specifically for use with metal brackets, buttons etc as over the years they have got rather rusty. 

I use different size screens but in the winter, when the screens have to dry indoors, I make sure to only use a thin layer of thickened dye and to use small screens. I would rather clean and make up more screens than pull a screen where the dye has flowed into blobs before drying. Fellow breakdown printers will know what I mean!

Once the screens are completely dry I take off the embedded objects. And yes, I wash them every time. Sometimes I print the screen as is. Other times I use torn masking tape to create wells around the screen. Using torn masking tape breaks up the edge of each print. Having pinned my white, soda soaked fabric to my print bench I print the screen using thickened paste. As I want pale, delicate marks I tend to dump out unused paste if it picks up dye from the screen and replace with fresh paste.

I aim to apply different patterns / textures across the cloth so don't have to worry about composition. Using multiple screens means that I don't get too much pattern repeat. I let the fabric become touch dry before rolling up in plastic and leaving overnight to fix the dye. The fabrics are then washed and dried ready for the next process.